Sunday, January 2, 2011

Time to Take Down the Holiday Decorations

Americans have a long-standing tradition of wondering when it is time to take down their holiday decorations.  December 26th?  January 1st?  January 6th?  Easter?  The Big Box Stores and Hallmark have yet to designate an official day for this, and we just aren't used to such independence.  The lack of a designated un-decoration day leaves many Americans to worry: have we left the holiday decorations up too long or not yet long enough?

Americans, worry no longer.  I have heard your concerns, and now I will address them, with this very handy, FREE guide.   (I do not plan to seek office, but thank you for asking.)

It is Time to Take Down
the Holiday Decorations when:
You begin to feel a little deflated.
Your evergreen swags have been at the bottle,
they are obviously a little tipsy.

 The glowing nativity set has seen better days.
 The wisemen, clearly, are dead on their feet.
And their camel, unfortunately, really is dead.
 The Baby Jesus figure has sat out there in that manger so long 
he is no longer a baby
and is able to get out of the manger, unassisted.
(He'd probably try to get back in the garage, 
but swaddling clothes are so restrictive.)
The flamingos think that LED lights are the new pink, 
because that's what they've seen everyone wearing this season.
Santa is down to just one reindeer.

And other assorted lawn ornaments, left to their own devices,
have begun to commit heinous crimes.

In this case, I suspect that the guy with the sharp stick
or the Santa carrying a blunt, heavy object
are the most likely perpetrators.
The usual suspects.

And finally, you know the holidays are officially over
when you discover Santa has left behind 
all his clothing on your lawn.....except his shoes!

Happy New Year!

All these pictures were taken in my own Midwestern neighborhood, using the very thoughtful gift Santa left in my stocking this year.  Thank you, Santa! 

1 comment:

  1. i love this post! it's very cute!