Kids can be very, very funny. Here are some things I've heard my kids and their friends say lately that I don't want to forget.
Justone: (Said to me 1.5 hours before the school bus arrives.) Um, Mom, all I need for school this morning is something I can wear that will make me look like a turn-of-the-century Russian immigrant who is a doctor and who is Jewish and works in America at Ellis Island.
Endeavor: Who knew Dad could hide a dozen roses in his car?!?!?!? That's freaky.
Superkid: (as we left the house to go to church on a very cold day) I sure hope that no one leaves a baby on our porch today. I think it is too cold for a baby to stay on the porch until we get home from church. The baby will freeze.
Endeavor: (discussing conversations overheard at middle school) People talk about who they are going out with, and I just don't get it. How do sixth grade boys get the money to eat at nice restaurants and go to concerts?
Me: Sixth graders at your school are taking each other out to nice restaurants and concerts?
Endeavor: Well, I guess so. That's what you and dad do when you go out."
(Note to self and Bionic Man: way to go! We've set a very high standard. One that no middle school boy will ever be able to attain.)
The following are "facts" that my cub scouts shared with me during den meeting last week. Keep in mind, our den meeting activity last week had nothing to do with war. The cub scouts apparently had war on the brain, that night.
Cub Scout: My grandpa was a pilot in World War 2.
Me: Wow, he must have been very brave.
Cub Scout: Yeah. Did you know that Snoopy was a pilot in World War 2?
Me: (pretty sure that Snoopy pretended to be a World War 1 pilot, but deciding not to explain that, because I'm trying to get to the next activity) Yes, I know Snoopy was a pilot. He fought the Red Baron a lot, didn't he?
Cub Scout: Yeah. And my Grandpa knew him.
Me: The Red Baron?
Cub Scout: No, Snoopy. Snoopy and my Grandpa flew planes together in World War 2.
Cub Scout 1: My dad was in World War 3.
Cub Scout 1: Yeah, and he's got the guns to prove it.
Cub Scout 2: World War 3? (scratches head) Oh, that's right, Vietnam!
Cub Scout: (during my presentation on treating frostbite) Did you know that during the Cold War, soldiers lost over a thousand toes because of frostbite?
Me: (trying desperately not to laugh out loud) Really? Frostbite? Where did you hear that?
Cub Scout: (happy to explain history to his den leader) Yeah, really! 'Cause all the fighting they did was in Alaska, and it was really cold there.
(I anticipate that plans will be announced any day now for The Thousand Toe Cold War Memorial. In TOPEKA, Kansas.)