Friday, December 31, 2010

The Seventh Day of Christmas

I'm in the process of giving you twelve days of laughs at my expense.  Generous, aren't I?  Well, I can afford to be this generous, thanks to all the ridiculous situations I've got myself into over the last 34 years.  Carry on!

Today, I'm going to repeat part of a previous post, because the following embarrassing moments are just too good not to share again.   You can read the full post here, if you'd like.

Two Embarrassing Moments: Doctor's Office Edition

#1.  Lily was our most prenatally photographed baby.  Every time we went to see the perinatologist, they took lots and lots of pictures.  When I was pregnant with the other babies, we'd always made a big deal about letting the siblings come along to an appointment, especially if it was an ultrasound.  We were more cautious about that with Lily, considering the circumstances 

Then one week, I decided to take all three siblings along with me; the baby had been moving a lot, I wasn't scheduled to have extra tests at that appointment, and it seemed like a good day to let them tag along.  (Ignorance can be soooo bliss.)  Unfortunately, we ended up waiting in the waiting room for over an hour--first time I'd ever had to wait more than 10 minutes at this particular office.  I hadn't brought toys or snacks, since it was supposed to be a "quick" appointment.  We were finally escorted to the exam room, where we waited an additional 30 minutes.  

If you have children, you can imagine how things were at this point.  The children were all over the place....over the table, under the sink, inside the bathroom, outside the bathroom, around the expensive 3-D ultrasound machine.  The classic, never-to-be-forgotten moment of that appointment was when I realized Justone was staring, completely transfixed, at the back of the bathroom door.  

"Mom, what is this?" he asked in a tone of hushed wonder.  

"This" was the very helpful poster demonstrating how to do a monthly self breast exam.   I somehow found the fortitude to explain what a monthly breast exam was to my six year old son and his equally curious sisters.  

Thus, I became the only woman on the planet whose six year old son reminds her to do her monthly breast exam.

#2.  Superkid was just over a year old when she and Justone and I went to see her gastroenterologist.  We had a long wait, which never bodes well for the rest of the appointment.  When the doctor came in, I had several concerns that I needed him to address about Sariah's g-tube feedings, comfort, etc.  I even had a video for him to watch so that he could see a behavior we were concerned about.  It was going to be a long appointment.

Superkid was cranky and tired.   Justone was cranky and bored.  The doctor and his assistant were very patient.  They tried to address my concerns over the ever-increasing din of attention-seeking children.  

Justone proceeded to become cranky and bored and hungry.  He was showing me that he was ready to leave in every way that a four-year-old can.  I wasn't done talking to the doctor.  So Justone grabbed my shirttail, and tugged it as he walked towards the door, whining, "Mom, let's GO!"  

The shirt I was wearing was one of those vintage-western types, with mother-of-pearl snaps up the front.....which quickly and easily popped undone at the first tug.  All of them.  Every stinkin' one of them.  And, since Justone was walking away--the hem of my shirtail in his hand--my shirt walked away with him.  

AAAAAA!  I'm still blushing!  The two doctors blushed, too, stammered unintelligibly, and quickly excused themselves from the room.  

Was it a coincidence that we soon moved across the country?  I think not!


  1. I've heard the shirt one before, but I had no idea he actually go it all off. That totally made my day. Happy New Year!

  2. Oh my gosh, those stories are hilarious.