Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Fourth Day of Christmas

If you are late for the party, I'm sharing some of my most memorable moments of abject humiliation for each of the twelve days following Christmas.  I am subjecting you to this because, um, I'm hoping it will make your days merry and bright?  It's therapeutic to share?  Who knows?

Today's tale of embarrassment takes me back to high school.

I Just Have to Get This Off My Chest

I was a sophomore in high school.  There were two boys at my school that I was crushing on.  One, like me, was a sophomore.  The other was a junior who was on the tennis team.  I planned my route from class to class with them in mind, hoping to get a sighting of at least one of them to tide my teenage heart over until the next class ended.

Looking back, I have to believe that if even 25% more of my teenage brain had been dedicated to more academic pursuits, I could be practicing nuclear law right now.

Anywho, Mrs. Johnson's third period Modern World Civilizations class was ideally situated for Boy Crush Sightings.  The junior had a locker nearby.  The sophomore had his fourth period class just across the hall.  It was my favorite time of day.

One day, we'd just finished a huge test in Modern World Civilizations.  I'd studied for it for days, crammed for it during the early morning hours.  I finished the last of the essay questions just before the ending bell rang, handing over my test to Mrs. Johnson.  My friends and I filed out of the classroom, heaving sighs of relief that we'd been able to get through the exam.

At that time in my life, I tended to speak in superlatives.  A couple of my friends teased me about being their Anne of Green Gables.  Let's just say I was slightly dramatic in my conversation.  (Imagine that.)  So, in my eagerness to express my gratitude at having completed a difficult test, I turned to my group of girlfriends with a flourish, intending to say, "Well, that is a load off my brow!"

Very Anne-esque, eh?  Unfortunately, what actually came out of my mouth, clear as a bell, was,

"Well, that is a load off my bra!"

For some inexplicable reason, my expression of relief was uttered at the exact instant that there was a momentary lull in the normal between-classes hallway noise.  So it wasn't just my friends who heard my odd little mis-spoken exclamation.  I clapped a hand over my mouth, blushing furiously, as my friends eyes widened and they began to giggle.  Whirling around, prepared to make a run for the stairway, I ran smack into BOTH my Junior Crush and my Sophomore Crush.

Yep.  To this day, I still cringe when I think about it. 

Guess what, though?  Later on, my sophomore crush was my senior prom date.  He gave me a wrist corsage. 

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