Friday, March 26, 2010

Just came back from the NICU....

......or the Newborn Intensive Care Unit, if you like to have it spelled out.

And just what was I doing at the NICU today, you may very well ask?

I was holding babies.

I was holding babies!

Oh, is there anything better than having a little wee babykins snuggled up against you?

(You don't need to grace that question with a response.  Because there just isn't anything better than that.)

How I ended up in the NICU snuggling babies is a long story.  Let's just say I was given the opportunity to do so, and had to turn it down initially because I thought I was going to be recovering from sinus surgery.  Thank goodness Dr. Gutt's wife gave birth so I could have an opportunity to go to the NICU.

Wait a minute, that didn't come out right.  I wasn't visiting Dr. Gutt's baby.  We aren't that close.....Remember, Dr. Gutt's wife had a baby, so he had to cancel my sinus surgery?  That freed up my schedule for babies.  I was much more excited about holding babies than sinus surgery, anyway.  Sinus surgery = boring, babies = fun.

So, off I went to the NICU today.  To hold babies.  Twins!  Boys! Two of the most darling little mannikins I've seen since, well, since the last time I got to hold a newborn.  And that has been a while.  They were absolutely precious.  And their mommy is taking such good care of them.  I was so impressed by their mommy!  She is a natural, and just seemed to handle all the tubes and wires and blankets and feedings with such grace.  I wish I had caught on that quickly!

I admit, I was a little nervous going to the NICU.  It wasn't the same NICU that Lily had started her life in, which probably helped.  But I wondered if I could handle it.  My time in the NICU with Lily wasn't easy.  I never felt at home there like I did when we were at the Heart Center.  And I had to witness some pretty sad situations with some of her NICU roommates.  

But I walked into the NICU today, and I was fine.  In fact, once I had one of those little babies in my arms, I was more than fine.  I felt like I'd got a piece of me back that had been missing.  The piece of me that knew how to hold babies with tubes and wires.  The piece that knew what all the bells and alarms meant.  The piece that knew how good it felt to hold a sweet bit of heaven in my arms while the world went rushing by.

So I was fine in the NICU.  But I started to cry as soon as I left.  Walking out the door of the NICU, I remembered how awful it felt whenever I had to leave my own baby.  I never got used to that feeling, and I guess I never will.  So I had a good cry over a lot of things.  I cried for all the parents in the NICU, who had to feel that way.  I cried for me, for remembering what it felt like.  I cried for some of the babies I saw, whose mothers weren't much older than Endeavor.  And I cried for Lily, because I miss holding her so much.  I'm very glad that I held her every chance I got.  
Oh, I do love babies.  If you ever hear of one or two or three that need snuggling, I'm your gal.  Give me a call!  I'll even come to the NICU.



No comments:

Post a Comment