Bionic Man: Handyman Extraordinaire

Did I mention that my husband is a Handyman Extraordinaire?

Did I?  Because if I didn't, I need to be forthright about the fact that he is.  And my life would be totally different if he was not.  Actually, I don't even know if "handyman" is really the appropriate terminology for what he is.  Master craftsman may be a better fit. 

Whatever you want to call him, I cannot deny the simple reality that Bionic Man can figure out how to make anything.  Literally, anything.  I'm not boasting or bragging when I say this, although I am quite pleased with myself for choosing such a talented man to be my husband.  No, when it comes to his handy-manliness, I'm just telling it like it is. It is almost scary, how good he is. 

Well, it is scary, if you are one of the trick or treaters that visits our house on Halloween.  But that is a post unto itself. 

Let me give you the basics.  Bionic Man is an engineer at work, an artist at heart, and a genius at home improvement. 

Bionic Man is blessed with a very creative mind, which he uses during the work day to be an aerospace engineer.  But Bionic Man doesn't exactly relish the fact that in order to do this job, he must be stuck in front of a computer all day, inside a drab cubicle, within a boring office building.  He likes adventure, excitement, the great outdoors, and a lot of creative license.  Bionic Man posesses that pioneering, let's-put-a-man-on-the-moon-and-I-volunteer-to-be-the-man spirit and really should have been born two centuries ago, when he could have settled a new territory using the farm implements he invented. 

But if that had happened, then we wouldn't be married today.  Unless I was born two centuries earlier.  That probably wouldn't have worked in my favor, because if I had been born two centuries earlier, I would be buck-toothed and blind.  And if I were lucky enough to get married, I would have died in childbirth for sure.  Wow, so much to be thankful for!

Anyway, when Bionic Man decides he is going to make something, he does.  Case in point: our backyard playscape.  I present to you....Exhibit A.

If you were to take a walk along the neighborhood trail, this is what you would see.  Our backyard, complete with the recently (and finally) finishished playscape. 

I say finally because Bionic Man began this project soon after we purchased our home, four years ago.  We had promised the children a playscape when we moved from our old home.  (Where the backyard was a hill perfect for sledding, but not for playscapes.)  After shopping for playscapes, Bionic Man informed me that purchasing a playscape was a complete waste of our money and his imaginiation.  He declared that he could build a bigger, better, playscape than anything we'd seen, and he'd do it for a fraction of the cost. 

Thus ensued the backyard project comparable only to Michaelangelo's Sistine Chapel.  Complete with scaffolding.

Like all good artists, Bionic Man didn't create his masterpiece without some practice.  First, he built the picnic table pictured here.

Finding that to be fairly simple and having aquired the appropriate power tools and expertise, he moved onto the actual playscape.  The design took some time, probably because I wanted a part in the design.  It took compromise.  Bionic Man listened to my design suggestions, threw most of them out, took a few several steps further, and decided to build the playscape in such a way that it could be conerted to a gazebo if the children ever stopped playing on it.

Can you see it?  That is the main reason our backyard playscape is topped by a cupola.  The cupola alone gives it more architectural detail than our actual house.  Are you starting to sense why I refer to my husband as the Bionic Man?  The cupola and cedar shakes are the reason that Bionic Man insisted the playscape wasn't "done" two years ago, after installing the slides.  He just finished the roof a few days ago.

Luckily, the deck was already a part of our backyard when the project started, or the project would have taken an additional four years.  Bionic Man does beautiful work, but having a "real" job on the side kind of cuts into his project time.   The above picture and the one below show the bridge that Bionic Man built to connect playscape to deck.  Pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.

And now for a few views of the slides.

The wavy slide, in particular, makes a very fun waterslide in the summer.  The bigger you are, the faster you fly!

Since Superkid takes coumadin to prevent blood clots, we have to be very careful about bumps and bruises.  Bionic Man was mindful of this when he designed the Sistine Chapel of Playscapes.  Note how the playscape has many levels, instead of ladders or small steps.

The climbing wall is one exception to that.  But he padded the area beneath it with lots and lots of mulch.  And Superkid has to use the rope. 

Birds love our playscape as much as our children do.  Maybe even more, since the children haven't mentioned anything about wanting to raise their young beneath the eaves of the playscape.  It is definitely watertight.

In the early days of the creation of this Seventh Wonder of the Backyard World, our next door neighbor peered over his fence as Bionic Man poured the cement for the footings. He watched quietly for a few minutes, then said, "Man, next time we have a tornado, I'm going to come hang onto your playscape. That thing isn't going anywhere."

It better not go anywhere.  Because, although the playscape ended up being bigger and better than any playscape we saw during our initial shopping trips, I'm pretty sure it wasn't a fraction of the cost. 

I'll have to share some more of the Bionic Man's projects another time.  Are you wondering yet what it is he does for Halloween?

Update:  Bionic Man has recently been working on the installation of a sandbox underneath the playscape.  The sandbox includes a pump and drainage system, so the kids can play with water in the sandbox, which will be drained, filtered and returned to the pump system.  Can you believe it?  I'll post more pics as soon as the landscaping around the sandbox is complete.

I'm linking this to Centsational Girl's Outdoor Ideas Party.

Race Day!

This weekend we enjoyed one of our annual family traditions: the Marathon.  Every year--with the exception of last year--some of us run in the races.  This year, all of us ran in the races.  None of us are marathoners, but some of us are half marathoners.  The location for this race venue is really beautiful, especially with the fall colors. 

B always runs the half marathon, and this year I had trained for it, too.  (I ran my first half marathon in the spring.)  However, 10 days of head cold/stomach flu combo leading up to the half marathon made me chicken out.  I switched my entry over to the 5K, along with J and our friend Banks.  E,S, and E's friend K entered the Kids' Marathon (1 mile).  We start helping the kids train once school starts.  This was J's first 5K, but he'd been doing really well in training.  He was excited.

Having the stomach flu before the race didn't stop B!  (I tell you, the man is pioneer stock.  Total Spartan.  I honestly think I married the Bionic Man.)  He was determined to follow through and run the half Marathon.  He didn't get his best time, but he still got a better time than I would have!  Here he his after he finished.

Before you make fun of our crazy outfits, let me tell you, IT WAS FRIGID!!!  As I mentioned, we've come to this race before, but we've never experience such cold temperatures.  We were dressed in multiple layers, and I didn't even shed a layer when I was running.  Oh, I guess I took off my scarf.  But that was it.  It was really that cold.  Here is a picture of the girls, trying to stay warm.

Brrrr!  It is making me cold just remembering!  But I get warm as my heart swells with motherly pride.....because J took first place in his division of the 5K.  Way to go J!  Here he is, proudly displaying his "trophy".

Yes, that is a mug.  I'd like to know who came up with that bright idea.  For heaven's sake, the child earns his first big win, and all he has to show for it is a MUG?  Well, as J explained to me upon our return, it is actually not a mug, it is a trophy, and he does not intend to use it for hot chocolate or other beverages.

Here is another picture of J, the athlete.  I gave birth to him!  And picked out the polarfleece he's wearing.  And he totally beat me in the 5K.

Our friend, Banks, who has been running with B, was also running in the 5K.  His first one.  His assignment was to run ahead of J, while I would run behind him.  I was somewhat concerned about J's safety, since he is only 8 years old, and this was a 3.1 mile course.  What really happened was that it took Banks the first half mile of the race just to catch up with J, and then next half mile just to get ahead of him.  And I was waaaayyyy behind both of them.  Pushing S in the jogging stroller, who announced to me at the half mile mark that she had to go potty.  The story of my life!  Banks said that he crossed the finish time and looked behind him for J.  J was weaving between the legs of big, tall men, who were surprised to be beaten by such a little dude!  By the way, I just looked at the results online and discovered that, not only did J beat everyone in his age category, he beat everyone in the 11-14 year old category, too!

This is a picture of Banks and J stretching after the race.  Banks got an excellent time, as well.  Way to go, Banks!  And here is a picture of my handsome husband and son.  You can tell B has had some time to recover and change into dry clothing, in this one.

K and E are veteran runners, but this was S's very first race.  Look at these awesome pictures of S and her good friend, B, stretching out before the 1 mile Kids' Marathon.

S is in the black track pants, and B is the little girl with pom-poms on her hat.  Aren't they hilarious?  What is even funnier is what happened to B's parents on race day.  B's father trained for the half marathon, and ran it that morning.  Her mother was there, close to the finish line, ready to take pictures as her husband ran past.  She was excited about his accomplishment, and was trying to get good pictures, so she jumped off the sidelines and ran alongside him for the last few yards of the race.  The crazy thing is, the girl was 38 weeks pregnant!  Note that I use the past tense, because her water broke as she was running!!!  Luckily, Grandma was there to help with the girls, because our friends had to head to the hospital immediately.  Their new baby girl was born less than five hours after Daddy crossed the finish line.  Is that the best birth story ever, or what?

Anyway, S ran in her first race, and we were very proud.  We are pretty sure that if there had been a category for runners with artificial heart valves, S would have won!  She had to stop and take a few rests along the way, but she was determined to run--not walk.  So after each brief rest, she would take off again.  She's an excellent sprinter.

Look at her go!  The kids marathon course goes around this lovely village green, surrounded by historic homes built for the officers back when this area was a large army base.  One of the homes was showing lots of Halloween spirit, with an extensively decorated front yard and porch.  S hates scary Halloween decorations.  She really does.  It makes it difficult to take her shopping during the month of October, because she gets so worried that we will see scary things when we are in stores.  She cowers in the bottom of the shopping cart, whimpering, while the other shoppers Wonder About Us.  So S stopped short when she saw the spooky house ahead.  She sat down on the curb, and hid her head between her knees.  J and I, who were running alongside her, tried to give her some encouragement.  S thought it would be better to turn back than run past the scary house.  We gave her a few minutes to think about it, during which time a worried B called me on the cell phone, wondering if S was in respiratory distress.  (No, just Halloween distress.)

At last, S leaped to her feet, covered one eye with one hand, and one ear with the other, and declared, "I CAN DO THIS!"  She sprinted past the spooky house, and as she did, she yelled, "YOU CAN'T SCARE ME!  NOTHING CAN SCARE ME WHILE I AM RUNNING!"  I was impressed.  I'm not that brave, or that strong.

Last but not least, a picture of E approaching the finish line.  Look at that form.  She looks so graceful.

So, we all had a good time.  Some of us had a better good time than others, but we can honestly say that good times were had by all.  Personally, my favorite thing about running is not running.  Guess what my favorite thing about running is?  This will be easy for you to guess if you have seen me in person in the past five years.  My favorite part about running is:

Eating lots of pasta the night before a race!  Eat lots of carbs, everybody, we're running them off in the morning!

Speaking of children's artwork.....

I found this when I was going through the files of our children's artwork that my brilliant husband, B, has scanned into our computer.  I'd totally forgotten it existed.  It is hilarious.

Before I show it to you, I think I should provide a little disclaimer.  We really don't think that boy children are better than girl children at our house.  We are happy to have any children at all.  That being said, my husband was the eldest of six children.  The firstborn.  And the only boy.  Every time his mom had a baby, B was hoping for a brother.  Every time he was disappointed.  B loves his sisters, but he really, really, really wanted to have a little brother.  You can imagine how thrilled he was to have his own son.  But he really, really, really  wanted J to have a little brother.  That didn't happen....I'm afraid J will have to aquire brothers by marriage.  B is learning to live with disappointment.  But he is also quite conscious of the precarious position of his particular line of the Harding Name.....

....And so are the children.  I can prove it.  Here is the lovely coloring page S brought home from Primary class one Sunday in December.  She definitely took some artistic license with this one.Note the handwritten explanation B added, a helpful reminder of what S said when she handed this lovely piece of artwork to her daddy in the hallway after Primary.  Please don't be offended, and definitely don't use any Freudian theories to analyze it.

Only S's imagination could have created this.  Oh, my. 

Just in case you can't read B's notation, this is what it says:

S colored this picture when she was five years old.  Joseph is crying "because Baby Jesus is a girl."

I'm just really, really glad I'm not there in her class to hear any of the comments she makes.  Sometimes ignorance is bliss.